I was very interested to read your advertisement in the Financial Times for Lead Tumblr Optimization Manager at Zalando and after further research I would like to apply for this position.
I see this position as the perfect platform for me to kick start my career as a full time professional comedy genius. I have considered myself to be hilarious for well over a decade now I am now seeking a position where I can channel that humour on a global level, which is why I believe I would be the outstanding candidate.
Generally my comedy style is dark, dry and improvised though it can occasionally delve into other areas of “loud” comedy. My specialty where I perform to the highest level is during times of extreme pressure and awkwardness. Here I generally break the tension by saying or doing something inappropriate, therefore providing the comic relief in any situation. As is my motto, “humour can be found in anything.” These criteria I believe will prove invaluable in my pursuit of this position.
I would be most grateful if you could consider me for this position. I will be available for an interview immediately and can be contacted on my mobile (0157 ********) at any time.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Dear Zalando People,After 2 years at Zalando, it’s gonna be time for me to move on in my life ! I have been honored to take care about this Tumblr for more than 1 year now and i would like to thank you all for the support and all the ideas you sent :)If someone feels like taking over this wonderful tumblr - or just send me gifts haha - … send an email at : firstname.lastname@example.org ! You don’t need CV or cover letter (even if it can help ;) )
I can teach you how to update the tumblr (really easy) !
Come on Zalandos, don’t be shyyyy !